6 Stoic Principles Every Introvert Can Use to Stay Calm Under Pressure
We suffer more often in imagination than in reality — Seneca
So, Here are 6 Stoic ideas to help you stay calm, think clearly, and not get dragged into other people’s problems.
1. Think About Your Thinking
Your mind’s default mode is not always toward your goal.
Thoughts show up. Some are helpful. Some are slightly less so. Some are basically mental junk mail.
That is not clarity. You can call that mental static and it’s completely normal.
Marcus Aurelius referred to it as "training mind to understand itself."
Now we refer to it as "metacognition," but that's something Elon Musk would name a child. Let's just say, then, let's say that it's monitoring your thoughts before they become feelings that ruin your day.
Rather than allowing anxiety to think into some hypothetical future, stop. Observe. Ask:
"Is this thought helpful, or is my brain disturbed and trying to entertain itself at the cost of destroying my mood?"
At times it's simply boredom. Also, Don’t confuse boredom with stress.
2. Observe People, Don't Copy Them
Just because people are loud about what they do doesn't mean that they're right.
In reality, the louder and more persistently someone proclaims how "real" or "aligned" they are, the more I question if their therapist is charging them by the week or the hour.
You don't need to podcast or build a personal brand just because the entire internet is screaming at you to "build in public."
Some of us are more than happy to build in private, thank you.
Introverts have observation superpowers.
Observe how others work. Learn from their mistakes.
There is a difference between learning from someone and becoming their carbon copy.
Do not Outsource Thinking to Podcasts, Tweets, and Reels
Mimicry is for parrots.
You're not a parrot.
Unless you are. In which case, well done on your literacy.
3. Allow People's Chaos to Pass Through You
You are not an unpaid project manager, emotional punching bag, or therapist for other individuals' life messes.
This needs repeating.
You owe nobody an explanation.
Not the guy who cuts you off on the freeway.
Not the coworker who asks for your opinion and then complains about it.
Not the relative who seems to think your limits are up for discussion.
No need to absorb every feeling thrown your way like a trauma-prone sponge.
Marcus Aurelius stated,
"You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength."
So yeah, You don't have to catch every hot potato that comes your way. Let it rebound off the floor. Step on it. Move on. And do not forget to clean the floor.
4. Live by Inner Code, Not Outer Chaos
There are two kinds of humans.
The first category: They seek permission, signs, approval, vibes, consensus of the group, or horoscopes prior to action.
The second category: They are guided by values.
One of these people is not exhausted all the time.
Your code needn't be extensive or meaningful. You aren't writing the next constitution.
It can be simple:
Be honest, but not about if you like their haircut.
Don't answer yes to something you mean please-God-no (not in all cases).
Waste your time as if it were non-refundable. Because it is.
They will attempt to have you live on their chaos. Their crises. Their insecurities. Their timelines.
That's not your task.
You're not other people's customer service for their mood swings.
You’re not Netflix. You don’t need to be available on demand.
5. Prepare for the Worst, so It Won't Break You
Okay, so this is not overthinking. Just about mentally rehearsing the bad stuff so it doesn’t knock you flat if it shows up, and building some confidence.
But you should likely think about what would occur if.
If the pitch is not accepted.
If the job doesn't work out.
If another person does not like what you wrote or said or did.
The Stoics called it “premeditatio malorum”, which sounds like something out of Harry Potter, but is actually simply preparing oneself mentally for the worst on purpose.
Not to frighten yourself. But to immunize yourself.
It's better to be pleasantly surprised by bad things than prepared.
6. Control the Controllable, Release the Rest
You receive one circle: what you can influence.
You don't get to tell algorithms what to do. Or what others think of what you do. Or how your manager reacts to criticism. Or if it rains on your vacation.
You get your attitude.
You get your attention.
You get your response.
That’s it. Control those.
Everything else is Out of your hands.
If your mind just has to worry anyway, give it something to do.
Ask this question:
"What do I want to do about it?"
If you answer "nothing," then you might have saved your some time from overthinking.
Wait a Sec
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Thank you for your time!
Spot on 😊👏
yet another example of why i hate philosophy. a whole lot of “you ought to” and implied judgement. no thanks.