7 No-Stress Hacks Every Introvert Should Know
7 Tricks That Work So Well for Introverts, It Feels Like Cheating
Save Your Time
Keep Your Social Circle Small (Dunbar’s Rule): Studies suggest that the human brain can only maintain about 150 relationships at one time. This is still a large number. It is better to focus on five close friends who truly matter. The rest can remain as acquaintances.
Do Not Say Yes Immediately: If someone invites you to an event, do not feel pressured to answer right away. Say “I will check and let you know.”
Use Your Social Energy Wisely (80/20 Rule): Spend 80% of it on people who bring you joy and comfort. Use the remaining 20% for necessary interactions.
Presence is Enough (Mere Exposure Effect): Psychological research shows that people tend to like things they see often. This applies to social interactions as well.
Start Conversations Easily (Five-Word Method): When you are unsure how to begin a conversation, use a simple five-word observation about your surroundings:
Set a Simple Social Goal: Meet two people or have one interesting chat, and then you’re free to leave guilt-free.
Speak Once, Then Listen: You do not need to speak often to be part of a conversation. Say one thoughtful comment, then allow others to continue the discussion.
1. Keep Your Social Circle Small (Dunbar’s Rule)
Alright, so a guy named Dunbar (a British anthropologist, not a self-help influencer) Came up with a theory that, more or less, says people aren’t built to keep up with more than about 150 relationships at once. And That number still sounds way too high.
Now, breaking it down, it looks like this:
Five people = Your inner circle. If you got arrested at 2 AM, these are the people you’d call.
Fifteen people = Friends you actually like, but maybe not enough to help them move a couch up three flights of stairs.
Fifty people = people you’d say hi to in public but wouldn’t go out of your way to contact.
One hundred and fifty people = The kind you vaguely remember from work, school, or that party you showed up to once but left early.
Everything past this are Background characters in the movie of your life. If you’re trying to keep up with hundreds of people, no wonder you're tired. Scale back. People aren’t Pokémon. No need to catch ‘em all.
2. Say No Before You Say Yes
So, here's the thing: if you say yes to something right away, there’s a chance you’ll regret it later.
Or maybe just life experience.
Say no first.
Not a hard no. Just a “Hmm, not sure, I’ll have to check.” That way, if you actually want to go later, you can “find” time.
But if you already agreed and then realize you'd rather do literally anything else, now you have to fake an excuse.
And that’s way too much effort.
3. Use the 80/20 Rule to Save Energy
There’s only so much social energy to go around, and once it’s gone, it’s gone.
80% of your social energy should go to people who actually matter. Friends, family, people who make you feel good.
20% goes to mandatory social nonsense. Work meetings, forced family gatherings, that friend who always needs emotional support but never asks how you’re doing.
If something doesn’t fit into these categories then it might be a Hard pass.
4. Mere Exposure Effect
Okay, so apparently, humans are wired to like things they see often. It’s why people start enjoying annoying songs after hearing them enough times (Instagram and Tiktok brainrot Alert). This is called the Mere Exposure Effect.
You can totally use this.
Be around. That’s it. Just exist in spaces where people will see you.
Sit in the same spot at work or in class.
Be around during conversations, even if you’re not saying much.
People will start associating you with not being a stranger even if you’ve only exchanged a total of seven words, and honestly, that’s not half bad if you are trying to socialize as an Introvert.
It’s basically socializing without actually socializing. Perfect.
5. First Five Words Trick
Talking to new people is the worst.
You don’t know what to say. They don’t know what to say. So you both stand there like NPCs waiting for someone to press “A” and start the dialogue.
The first five words matter more than the rest.
You don’t have to be deep. You don’t have to be charming. Just acknowledge the moment.
“Man, this place is packed.”
“Did not expect this weather.”
“This coffee is way too hot.”
Doesn’t matter what it is. You just need one thing to get the conversation moving. People love responding to whatever’s happening around them. Once you start then there’s a chance that they’ll take over, and now you can connect well.
6. Meet 2 new people” or “Have 1 meaningful conversation
The worst way to approach social events is thinking you have to “be social.” That’s too vague. Too overwhelming. Too easy to mess up.
So instead, decide for yourself one small goal. Something you can accomplish so you don’t feel like you’ve completely failed at human interaction. And you don’t feel lost in the event.
Try these:
Meet two new people. Say hi, and exchange a few words.
Have one actually interesting conversation. Doesn’t have to be deep “How’s work?” Something that doesn’t make you want to leave with embarrassment.
Once you hit your goal, you’re done. Leave if you want. Nobody’s stopping you.
It’s a lot easier to deal with socializing when you have a finish line in sight.
7. Say one insightful comment per topic, then let others take over
Nothing is more exhausting than trying to keep up with a group of extroverts going full speed in a conversation.
People are more likely to remember a single insightful comment than continuous dialogue (Dunbar, 2017).
Here’s a better strategy:
Just say one interesting thing, then let everyone else run with it.
Suppose you are talking about movies “The cinematography in that was straight-up stunning. Felt like a painting.”
If they’re complaining about work, say: “That’s capitalism doing what it does best.”
People remember smart comments more than endless chatter, and you get to keep your energy.
But don’t overuse this trick unless you’re naturally the thoughtful, intellectual type. Otherwise, you might end up projecting a “smart guy” image that you’ll have to keep up with, and that’s a lot of unnecessary pressure.
Wait a Sec
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I love this. I'll practice them more.