when you take those traits and stew them in a cesspit of bullying from kids and adults alike, you get an antisocial, reactive person who is constantly uncomfortable in their own skin.
if you’re an introvert and encounter people who don’t think your ideas matter, you just curl up harder.
the these questions you’ve mentioned become further abuse.
i was once called into a manager’s office because i didn’t ask a coworker about her family and her weekend. no, really.
at my last job i got so sick of being asked how i was that i started asking “do you actually care or are you just being polite?” because telling people how you actually are is not what they’re looking for with that question.
I am not sure if I agree with these questions being seen as further abuse. We should really take a look at why we are reacting the way we are reacting to these questions.
I am not a quiet introvert, and I state my opinions because I know I will eventually beat myself up for not speaking up, and for not advocating for myself and for people I care about. It has nothing to do with whether the other person will like what I say or whether I sound intelligent or not. How the other person choose to interpret or perceive what I say, it really is not up to me, and frankly, not my business too.
My point is, I cannot control how others interpret or perceive, but I can certainly respond in ways that will make me proud of me for standing up for myself. I would not allow myself to retreat because of another person's actions or words.
You may have been in a rush, but it’s still a good topic. My responses to questions like these tend to be on the order of “quality takes time and I like quality,” or, “my favorite President, Lincoln, took a long time to think over decisions, speeches, etc. and he’s considered one of the top effective leaders.” If they’re especially insulting, I have asked how many people they’ve known in their lives because they’re clearly lacking experience with thoughtful people.
I WAS shy painfully self conscious young person but as I got older I realized: I’m an introvert.
I love people. Sometimes I overshare (with my very closest). But I require solitude and quiet. Our home is a sanctuary. I’ve learned to say NO, nothing more, and mean it. I’ve learned that ‘not having plans’ means ‘with you.’ I’ve learned to love who and how I am. Hard won!
Re: "not in the mood," the post looks fine to me, and I agree with your list. Most of them have irked me at one time or another. Usually, I write it off to their extroverted style, which often fails to understand introversion.
By the way, you can go back and edit posts later when you have more time.
In the book “The Right Stuff” Tom Wolfe relates a story, typical of the Mercury Astronauts, that two astronauts would make a long cross country trip in a 2 seat jet trainer and maybe speak 10 words to each other that weren’t flight related, and consider it a good visit.
i’m an introvert and i’m also neurodivergent.
when you take those traits and stew them in a cesspit of bullying from kids and adults alike, you get an antisocial, reactive person who is constantly uncomfortable in their own skin.
if you’re an introvert and encounter people who don’t think your ideas matter, you just curl up harder.
the these questions you’ve mentioned become further abuse.
i was once called into a manager’s office because i didn’t ask a coworker about her family and her weekend. no, really.
at my last job i got so sick of being asked how i was that i started asking “do you actually care or are you just being polite?” because telling people how you actually are is not what they’re looking for with that question.
I am not sure if I agree with these questions being seen as further abuse. We should really take a look at why we are reacting the way we are reacting to these questions.
I am not a quiet introvert, and I state my opinions because I know I will eventually beat myself up for not speaking up, and for not advocating for myself and for people I care about. It has nothing to do with whether the other person will like what I say or whether I sound intelligent or not. How the other person choose to interpret or perceive what I say, it really is not up to me, and frankly, not my business too.
My point is, I cannot control how others interpret or perceive, but I can certainly respond in ways that will make me proud of me for standing up for myself. I would not allow myself to retreat because of another person's actions or words.
Actually I hate being asked questions, any question. Exceptions are very rare.
You may have been in a rush, but it’s still a good topic. My responses to questions like these tend to be on the order of “quality takes time and I like quality,” or, “my favorite President, Lincoln, took a long time to think over decisions, speeches, etc. and he’s considered one of the top effective leaders.” If they’re especially insulting, I have asked how many people they’ve known in their lives because they’re clearly lacking experience with thoughtful people.
#1 absolutely hate
The rest, meh….
I WAS shy painfully self conscious young person but as I got older I realized: I’m an introvert.
I love people. Sometimes I overshare (with my very closest). But I require solitude and quiet. Our home is a sanctuary. I’ve learned to say NO, nothing more, and mean it. I’ve learned that ‘not having plans’ means ‘with you.’ I’ve learned to love who and how I am. Hard won!
I don’t like being bothered- I’m a quiet individual who only speaks if I need to. So that’s me. I prefer to Liston or read!
Not all introverts are quiet.
Re: "not in the mood," the post looks fine to me, and I agree with your list. Most of them have irked me at one time or another. Usually, I write it off to their extroverted style, which often fails to understand introversion.
By the way, you can go back and edit posts later when you have more time.
In the book “The Right Stuff” Tom Wolfe relates a story, typical of the Mercury Astronauts, that two astronauts would make a long cross country trip in a 2 seat jet trainer and maybe speak 10 words to each other that weren’t flight related, and consider it a good visit.