6 Problems Only Highly Sensitive Introverts Understand
You’ll Finally Feel Seen After Reading This
1. Pretending to Be on Your Phone to Avoid Interaction
I can’t even stand in line at a coffee shop without feeling like I need a shield. Strangers just love to open their mouths and awkward chit-chat. “Busy day?” “Weather’s crazy, huh?” Like…. please. I’m already calculating whether I said “hi” to the barista weird yesterday and now you want me to improvise?
So what do I do? Pull out the phone. Doesn’t matter if I have zero notifications. I’ll scroll through old texts from 2017 if I have to. I’ll pretend to be typing something urgent. Sometimes I just open the calculator app and stare at it like I’m cracking the Da Vinci Code. Anything to look “busy.”
But the part that really drives me insane is the guilt that shows up later. Hours after the non event, my brain drags me back into the memory. “You looked rude.” “You made it awkward.” “They definitely think you’re some antisocial freak.”
So not only do I have to suffer through the anxiety of potential small talk, I then have to suffer again later replaying the scene. All this over a stranger I will literally never see again.
I hate it here.
2. Cancelling Plans You Were Excited About
There’s nothing more depressing than hyping yourself up for plans you actually want to go to only to end up cancelling. On Monday, you’re excited. Friday comes and… you’re a corpse.
It’s not that you don’t want to go. You do. But your energy meter has hit zero. Social battery gone. Poof.
So you make “The Text.” The dreaded cancellation. It always starts with “So sorry…” and ends with “Next time, promise.” The guilt in between is unbearable.
Friends say “no worries” but you know they’re disappointed. Meanwhile, you’re curled up in bed, half relieved you don’t have to leave the house, half miserable that you let people down.
What kind of sick joke is that? To want something, plan for it, and then on the day be physically unable to handle it. People think introverts cancel because we’re lazy. No. We cancel because our brain and body gang up on us like a bad sitcom duo, forcing us into house arrest.
3. Heart Racing When Someone Says “Can I Call You Real Quick?”
If you want to ruin my entire day in six words, just say: “Can I call you real quick?”
My chest immediately starts pounding. My palms sweat. My mind launches into every catastrophic possibility: Did I screw something up? Am I in trouble? Is someone mad at me? Are they about to dump me? Fire me? Scam me?
It’s absurd. Most people hear “call” and shrug. For me, it’s like the air raid sirens went off.
By the time the phone actually rings, I’ve aged ten years. And ninety nine percent of the time, it’s something stupid. They just want to ask what time the meeting is tomorrow. Or what brand of printer ink we need.
Congratulations, you just shaved years off my life for a question that could’ve been a text.
4. Taking Criticism Way Too Personally
Here’s a fun introvert game: someone gives you one tiny piece of feedback, and you spend the next week convinced you’re a failure.
“Hey, maybe change this font.”
What I hear: “You’re incompetent, untalented, and everyone secretly thinks you’re a fraud.”
It doesn’t matter who says it boss, partner, random internet stranger. Feedback doesn’t just bounce off. It sinks in, sets up camp, and spreads like a virus.
And probably person who said it has already forgotten. It was a two second comment to them. To me, it’s a full blown existential crisis.
5. Being Deeply Affected by World News and Tragedies
Do you know how exhausting it is to care this much?
War. Fires. Injustice. Violence. It’s not just “bad news.” It’s like carrying a backpack full of grief that isn’t even yours.
I’ll be making dinner, chopping onions, and suddenly I think about starving kids across the world. bon appétit.
Other people can read the news and move on. Not me. I get stuck with it.
And there’s nothing I can do about it. I can’t fix it. I can’t stop it. I can only stew in it, letting it ruin my day while the rest of the world scrolls to the next headline.
6. Feeling Other People’s Moods So Strongly It Ruins Your Own
Walk into a room, and instantly I know who’s mad, who’s sad, who’s stressed. I don’t need words. I just feel it.
And then, it infects me. Someone else is angry, suddenly I’m furious. Someone else is anxious, suddenly my chest is tight.
It’s like catching secondhand smoke but with emotions. Their bad mood becomes my bad mood. Their storm cloud hangs over my head, too.
I can’t turn it off. I can’t block it out. Sometimes the only escape is leaving the room entirely. Which just makes me look like the weirdo.
Second hand smoke but for emotions—that’s the perfect analogy!
So true. I almost decided to discuss a stupid comment I made yesterday with my sister (after trying to join a conversation) and after reading this, I realize she's probably forgotten it. I'm stewing over it incessantly (!!!?). Jeez. Let it go.