You Said What You Said. Now Try These 6 Ways to Let It Go
Save Your Time
Focus on what you can control.
You can’t change people’s reactions, only your own response.Learn from the past, but don’t stay stuck there.
Reflect, take the lesson, and move forward.You are not your thoughts or mistakes.
One awkward moment doesn’t define your entire character.Unfinished situations cause mental loops.
Acknowledge or resolve the moment to break the cycle of overthinking.Interrupt Your Default Mode.
Do something physical or simple to shift focus when stuck.Talk back to self-doubt.
Don’t let impostor syndrome rewrite your whole identity.
1. Control What You Can, Release What You Can't
I mean, if the Stoics were on Twitter, they'd either be shadowbanned or blocked by half the platform.
Epictetus taught that peace is found in understanding what is on your shoulders and what is not.
Now, he didn't exactly say it like that. He was a slave turned philosopher. So probably used more gravitas and less slang. But the point is made.
Control = your action, your purpose, your next step.
Not in your control = other people's responses, assumptions, or if Karen in accounting determines you're a garbage human.
You said it.
So what then?
If you owe someone an apology, dole it out. Not fake sorry, Kind The real one.
If it's done and dusted and the person's moved on but you're still sitting at 2 AM searching "can humans die of embarrassment," well.
That’s your cue.
2. Sankofa: Take from the past, but don't move in with it
So there's this West African philosophy known as Sankofa. "Go back and get it" is literally its translation.
Just imagine a bird glancing backward while continuing to move ahead.
Go back, take a look, and grab what you need. The lessons. The lightbulb moments.
You dumb moments. What did they teach you?
Maybe that you talk too much when nervous.
Perhaps that sarcasm doesn't travel well to funerals.
Maybe that you’re human.
Learn the lesson. Say thank you. Move on.
That bird in the Sankofa I talked about It's looking back. But it's not going backward.
Be like the bird.
3. You Are Not Your Thoughts or Words
Buddhists talk a lot about non-attachment.
Let me translate in case you don't have a shaved head and a saffron robe:
You're not your brain noise.
You are not your mistakes.
Don't get me wrong accountability is valuable.
But to put your entire identity on one unfortunate remark is to say you are a horrible driver for the duration of your lifetime because you smashed your bumper one time in 2007.
They're only thoughts. Words are only. well, at times they're sheer rubbish, but still.
They're not you.
You get to choose what happens next.
4. Zeigarnik Effect (Unfinished Conversations/Regret = Loops And Overthinking)
Your mind is fixated on things left undone.
That's why waiters can recall ten orders of tables during a shift but forget your name two minutes after bringing you the bill.
It's known as the Zeigarnik Effect.
When you do something stupid or mean. your brain tab remains open.
Spins the wheel.
Rerun the tape.
You may ask why.
Because the thing doesn't feel complete.
So you loop. Replay. Overthink.
Here’s the trick that works: finish it.
Journal. Send an apology. Work it out somehow. Because you maybe overthinking it for a reason.
5. Interrupt Your Default Mode
When your brain is not necessarily doing something particular — not solving problems, not focused it goes into what scientists call the Default Mode Network (DNA).
I named it the "Let's Replay Every Cringe Moment Since Third Grade".
Happens in the shower. While folding socks. While driving.
To break the loop, you must give your brain something else to do. Something silly is fine. Something physical is better.
Walk. Move. Doodle. Count back from 300 by threes. Play with a dog. Read a book. Whatever keeps you from thinking "Oh God Why Did I Say That."
You don't need to understand how our minds work. You just need to give it something else to do.
6. Talk Back to Imposter Syndrome
Your mind picks up on the botch. And instead of saying, "Oops, that was an awkward moment," it says, "See? You don't fit anywhere. Not at work. Not at book club. Not even at the DMV."
That's called Impostor Syndrome.
No. You are now not worthy of love, employment, and dinner invitations.
Impostor Syndrome flourishes in secrecy.
So don't give it the silence.
Talk back to it.
Say, "That was awkward, but I am still a good person."
Say, "Cool story, brain. But no."
Whisper it, if you have to.
I know it may sound dumb. but it worked for someone around the world.
Note: Letting go is not refusing that it occurred.
It doesn't involve gaslighting yourself into toxic positivity and mantras of "everything happens for a reason"
You said what you said. Now let it go.
Last Thing
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